I like Facebook. I really do. I can banter with good friends, keep in touch with relatives, and join groups or networks that I am interested in. Facebook is officially the only social networking site that I subscribe to anymore. Unlike Myspace, I currently know and am real friends with every single person on my friends list (if I rejected you as a friend, it's pretty self-explanatory). Where Myspace was a popularity contest plagued with networking goons, friend whores, and jailbait, Facebook has groups for the things that I like and issues that I am genuinely interested in.
I am bringing all of this up not to slurp Facebook, but instead to divulge into a VERY disturbing pattern I've seen on Facebook in the past few weeks. I am talking about, of course, the "25 Random Things About Me" lists. Ah yes, how innocent it seems. Just tag your friends and family in this list, and they can read 25 random, funny, sad, humiliating, or downright stupid things about you. It's a fun way to tell folks something about yourself, while creating social commentary amongst those involved. But it doesn't stop there. People are beginning to spend WAY too much time on Facebook, and are looking for any way they can to stay on the website, without it seeming like they're doing nothing. Thus, the lists. I wish I could say it was harmless, but unfortunately, it is far from it. You see, this is how it started on Myspace, too. It is a progressive virus, and here is how it goes:
Stage 1
"here are a few things about me, for all of you to enjoy! (big smiley face)"
Stage 2
"here are a few things about me, now write a few things about you, and don't forget to comment on these things about us! (smiley face)"
Stage 3
"here are a few things about me, since I've included you, you should include me in yours, and if you don't, then we are NOT cool anymore (serious face and smiley face)"
Stage 4
"here are a few things about me, I've only written this because I'm totally fucking bored, now send this along to 25 other people and your one true love will contact you at midnight tonight, but if you dont, no one will ever love you, ever (serious face)"
Stage 5
"here are a few things about me, if you read this and do not respond, i hate you. if you break this chain letter, you will lose both of your arms in a horrific carnival accident, and you will have terrible luck for the rest of your life, and i hate you (mean face)"
I am exagerrating? Maybe, but only a little. The point I'm trying to make is, keep it normal. If you wouldn't talk to a person face to face, then don't make them your friend on Facebook. If you weren't ever friends before, in real life, then what makes you think you'd be friends in the internet life. Just take it for what it's worth. Banter with good friends, keep in touch with relatives, participate in groups that you are genuinely interested in, and for the love of all that is holy, don't let those innocent "25 things about me lists" be the death of Facebook. I've seen this happen before on Myspace, don't think for a second that it can't happen again.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Thursday, December 18, 2008
A letter to my fantasy football team
There are a few things I feel I need to get off my chest as the fantasy football season comes to an end. Mainly, just as in real football, the regular season means very little. Teams start anew once the playoffs begin, as evidence by Sho Nuff and myself, numbers 1 and 2 in the regular season, battling for third place.
Secondly, my team really, really shit the bed in the semifinal. This is more than just your average bed-shitting. You can't take these sheets to the dry cleaner, hoping to salvage them. You can't even wash them and give them away to the homeless. No, this is the type of bed-shitting where you simply ball up your 500 thread count Linens N Things sheets, throw them in the dumpster, and count your losses. Hats off to In The Zone and his players, who all decided they wanted to have career days against me. Well played, sirs.
With that said, I'd like to give a few shouts to those who made this fantasy season memorable.
Matt Ryan - a valuable and worthy mid-season pickup
Tony Romo - i hate you and i hate the cowboys. thanks a lot for getting injured. i hope T.O. ruins yours and Jerry Jones' life, you both deserve it
Roddy White - you were everything i ever hoped for, and more
Marques Colston - fuck you
Lance Moore - if it wasn't for you, i would hate marques colston even more. you broke out like acne on a teenagers upper back. thanks.
Steve Breaston - your name has "breast" in it. neat.
Marshawn Lynch - you stayed consistent with your consistently inconsistent team
Frank Gore - i like you, but you got injured for the semifinal...not cool
Chris Johnson and Lendale White - i hated having to choose which one of you to start. oh, what a joy it could be if you were just one person. Chrisdale Whiteson perhaps, or WhiteJohn Dalish. either way, i never expected either of you to do anything, at all
Jason Elam - you singlefootedly beat GB at Lambeau, Chicago, and Tampa Bay. well done.
Chicago's Defense - a monster, as always.
And finally, Kurt Warner, my MVP. this poem is for you
You started on the season on the bench, your future looking dim
But then, Whats this? A second chance! when news of Leinart banging fat chicks caught wind
I grabbed you from the waiver wire, hoping for a bit of luck
After one game, I saw what you did, and thought, "hey, this guy doesn't suck"
And then, from there, you defied all odds, passing 40 times a game
With no running back, and 3 stud receivers, you regained the look of fame
Week after week, you made defenses look meek, and made me look like a pro
Until the semifinal, when you shit the bed, and looked like an average joe
But I won't hate, I'll celebrate, because of the times that we had
So this poem is for you, my MVP, isn't it fucking rad?
Secondly, my team really, really shit the bed in the semifinal. This is more than just your average bed-shitting. You can't take these sheets to the dry cleaner, hoping to salvage them. You can't even wash them and give them away to the homeless. No, this is the type of bed-shitting where you simply ball up your 500 thread count Linens N Things sheets, throw them in the dumpster, and count your losses. Hats off to In The Zone and his players, who all decided they wanted to have career days against me. Well played, sirs.
With that said, I'd like to give a few shouts to those who made this fantasy season memorable.
Matt Ryan - a valuable and worthy mid-season pickup
Tony Romo - i hate you and i hate the cowboys. thanks a lot for getting injured. i hope T.O. ruins yours and Jerry Jones' life, you both deserve it
Roddy White - you were everything i ever hoped for, and more
Marques Colston - fuck you
Lance Moore - if it wasn't for you, i would hate marques colston even more. you broke out like acne on a teenagers upper back. thanks.
Steve Breaston - your name has "breast" in it. neat.
Marshawn Lynch - you stayed consistent with your consistently inconsistent team
Frank Gore - i like you, but you got injured for the semifinal...not cool
Chris Johnson and Lendale White - i hated having to choose which one of you to start. oh, what a joy it could be if you were just one person. Chrisdale Whiteson perhaps, or WhiteJohn Dalish. either way, i never expected either of you to do anything, at all
Jason Elam - you singlefootedly beat GB at Lambeau, Chicago, and Tampa Bay. well done.
Chicago's Defense - a monster, as always.
And finally, Kurt Warner, my MVP. this poem is for you
You started on the season on the bench, your future looking dim
But then, Whats this? A second chance! when news of Leinart banging fat chicks caught wind
I grabbed you from the waiver wire, hoping for a bit of luck
After one game, I saw what you did, and thought, "hey, this guy doesn't suck"
And then, from there, you defied all odds, passing 40 times a game
With no running back, and 3 stud receivers, you regained the look of fame
Week after week, you made defenses look meek, and made me look like a pro
Until the semifinal, when you shit the bed, and looked like an average joe
But I won't hate, I'll celebrate, because of the times that we had
So this poem is for you, my MVP, isn't it fucking rad?
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
October Baseball
Once again, major league baseball's playoffs have arrived. The same as Seattle is known for a good cup of coffee, October is known for playoff baseball. With the turning of leaves comes the crack of the bat, the roar of the crowd, and beer. $10.00 beer, actually.
Like many a season, this year's ended with good and bad, highs and lows, and general unpredictability. Sexy picks like the Mariners (ugh, more on this later) and Tigers failed to reach even .500 records, 2006 world series champion St. Louis Cardinals and 2007 world series attendees Colorado Rockies didn't finish higher than third in their respective divisions, and for the first time since 1993, neither team from New York will be playing in October.
As for the teams that ARE in the playoffs, much credit is due. Props to the Rays, for officially dropping "Devil" from their name, and hence dropping the curse of Lucifer (kidding). Seriously though, Rays players and fans finally get what they have long waited for, a trip to the postseason. And how much sweeter it is knowing that they have the 2nd smallest payroll in the entire league. It reflects how well upper management has scouted and drafted, and not attempted to keep up with the other frivolous spenders in the division. Furthermore, it gives confidence to other small market teams that simply cannot afford to doll out huge contracts in this non-salary cap sport.
Anyway, now that the Chicago White Sox are officially in the playoffs (thanks to a Jim Thome bomb), here are my playoff predictions.
ALDS (best of 5)
Chicago White Sox (89-74)
vs
Tampa Bay Rays (97-65)
By this point, there's no way I'm betting against the Rays. While the Rays continued to play well down the stretch, the White Sox lost the division lead, forgot how to pitch, and limped their way into the playoffs. Yes, the White Sox have been here before, but this group of starting pitchers is not the same group that won them the world series in 2005.
Rays in 4
X-Factor - Scott Kazmir
This may seem like an odd pick, but Kazmir's numbers have gotten progressively worse throughout the season, and he gave up 8 home runs in his final 3 starts. If he finds his form and regains control of his game, the Rays win the series.
Red Sox (95-67)
vs
LA Angels (100-62)
The Angels are, quite simply, the most well-rounded team in baseball. They hit for power, average, and are speedy. They have 3 fantastic starting pitchers in John Lackey, Ervin Santana, and Joe Saunders. They also have ace closer Francisco Rodriguez, who broke the single season saves record. All of this, however, means jack shit. Why, you ask? Because the Red Sox OWN the Angels in the postseason, sweeping them in the playoffs the previous two years. The fact that the Angels were 8-1 against the Sox this year matters little. The Red Sox hit well, hit in clutch situations, and have the swagger.
Red Sox in 4
X-Factor - Francisco Rodriguez
Keep an eye on his temper, and on his confidence. I just don't trust the guy...trust me on this.
NLDS (best of 5)
Milwaukee Brewers (90-72)
vs
Philidelphia Phillies (92-70)
Just like the White Sox in the AL, I feel like the Brewers limped their way into the playoffs. Don't get me wrong, it is absolutely amazing what CC has done to get them this far, unfortunately, CC cannot pitch every night (he probably would though). With questions about Ben Sheets' health and the Brewers struggling to score runs, I see a convincing Phillies sweep.
Phillies in 3
X-Factor - Brad Lidge
He still may be feeling the effects of Albert Pujols ripping his guts out last year.
LA Dodgers (84-78)
vs
Chicago Cubs (97-64)
With both the White Sox and the Cubs making the postseason, this marks the first time in 102 years that both Chicago teams are playing in October. That's pretty badass. Basically, no one was alive enough to remember these two teams being in the playoffs together. With that said, this is a very intriguing series. The Cubs have been the best team in the NL all year, and the Dodgers have been playing very well since acquiring Manny. The Dodgers also possibly have Rafael Furcal available, which could be a huge boost at the front of the lineup. This series is going to come down to starting pitching. Derek Lowe, the man who made his riches from excellent postseason pitching, has been dominant as of late, going 4-0 with a 0.50 ERA in his past 6 starts. The Cubbies have their own aces in Zambrano, Dempster, and Rich Harden. This is the only series I see going the full 5 games.
Cubs in 5
X-Factor - Cubs Bullpen
The bullpen has been shaky all season, and could ultimately decide the Cubbies' fate.
I'll post my NLCS and ALCS predictions, along with my world series winner, in a couple of days.
Cheers.
DJ
Like many a season, this year's ended with good and bad, highs and lows, and general unpredictability. Sexy picks like the Mariners (ugh, more on this later) and Tigers failed to reach even .500 records, 2006 world series champion St. Louis Cardinals and 2007 world series attendees Colorado Rockies didn't finish higher than third in their respective divisions, and for the first time since 1993, neither team from New York will be playing in October.
As for the teams that ARE in the playoffs, much credit is due. Props to the Rays, for officially dropping "Devil" from their name, and hence dropping the curse of Lucifer (kidding). Seriously though, Rays players and fans finally get what they have long waited for, a trip to the postseason. And how much sweeter it is knowing that they have the 2nd smallest payroll in the entire league. It reflects how well upper management has scouted and drafted, and not attempted to keep up with the other frivolous spenders in the division. Furthermore, it gives confidence to other small market teams that simply cannot afford to doll out huge contracts in this non-salary cap sport.
Anyway, now that the Chicago White Sox are officially in the playoffs (thanks to a Jim Thome bomb), here are my playoff predictions.
ALDS (best of 5)
Chicago White Sox (89-74)
vs
Tampa Bay Rays (97-65)
By this point, there's no way I'm betting against the Rays. While the Rays continued to play well down the stretch, the White Sox lost the division lead, forgot how to pitch, and limped their way into the playoffs. Yes, the White Sox have been here before, but this group of starting pitchers is not the same group that won them the world series in 2005.
Rays in 4
X-Factor - Scott Kazmir
This may seem like an odd pick, but Kazmir's numbers have gotten progressively worse throughout the season, and he gave up 8 home runs in his final 3 starts. If he finds his form and regains control of his game, the Rays win the series.
Red Sox (95-67)
vs
LA Angels (100-62)
The Angels are, quite simply, the most well-rounded team in baseball. They hit for power, average, and are speedy. They have 3 fantastic starting pitchers in John Lackey, Ervin Santana, and Joe Saunders. They also have ace closer Francisco Rodriguez, who broke the single season saves record. All of this, however, means jack shit. Why, you ask? Because the Red Sox OWN the Angels in the postseason, sweeping them in the playoffs the previous two years. The fact that the Angels were 8-1 against the Sox this year matters little. The Red Sox hit well, hit in clutch situations, and have the swagger.
Red Sox in 4
X-Factor - Francisco Rodriguez
Keep an eye on his temper, and on his confidence. I just don't trust the guy...trust me on this.
NLDS (best of 5)
Milwaukee Brewers (90-72)
vs
Philidelphia Phillies (92-70)
Just like the White Sox in the AL, I feel like the Brewers limped their way into the playoffs. Don't get me wrong, it is absolutely amazing what CC has done to get them this far, unfortunately, CC cannot pitch every night (he probably would though). With questions about Ben Sheets' health and the Brewers struggling to score runs, I see a convincing Phillies sweep.
Phillies in 3
X-Factor - Brad Lidge
He still may be feeling the effects of Albert Pujols ripping his guts out last year.
LA Dodgers (84-78)
vs
Chicago Cubs (97-64)
With both the White Sox and the Cubs making the postseason, this marks the first time in 102 years that both Chicago teams are playing in October. That's pretty badass. Basically, no one was alive enough to remember these two teams being in the playoffs together. With that said, this is a very intriguing series. The Cubs have been the best team in the NL all year, and the Dodgers have been playing very well since acquiring Manny. The Dodgers also possibly have Rafael Furcal available, which could be a huge boost at the front of the lineup. This series is going to come down to starting pitching. Derek Lowe, the man who made his riches from excellent postseason pitching, has been dominant as of late, going 4-0 with a 0.50 ERA in his past 6 starts. The Cubbies have their own aces in Zambrano, Dempster, and Rich Harden. This is the only series I see going the full 5 games.
Cubs in 5
X-Factor - Cubs Bullpen
The bullpen has been shaky all season, and could ultimately decide the Cubbies' fate.
I'll post my NLCS and ALCS predictions, along with my world series winner, in a couple of days.
Cheers.
DJ
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